Every Eurovision cycle there is a song or two that the Eurovision blogosphere goes wild for that I don't understand the reason for such praise.
Two years ago it was this song:
Cascada "Glorious" Germany 2013
Last year it was this song:
Tanja "Amazing" Estonia 2014
This year, it's Spain's entry to Eurovision.
Edurne "Amancer"
Edurne appears to have a pretty stable career in Spain, having released five albums over a nine-year career as well as being a reality TV star in Spain with appearances on a number of high profile television shows.
The song, however, is boring. It's a Spanish dance song that lacks any verve. It's a disappointment in comparison to their entry last year, which was a memorable song and performance (even if it wasn't my favorite.)
Perhaps she'll deliver on the night, but right now it's completely off target.
If someone can explain why this is so popular, I'd love to know.
Can you believe that the population of Anchorage is about the same as Iceland?
On the American television show "The Price is Right", there is a little tune played when a contestant loses.
Go ahead an play the clip. Now you know exactly how I feel with the winning song from the Icelandic national final--Söngvakeppnin 2015.
Söngvakeppnin 2015 ended on Valentine's Day this year, with seven songs competing for the chance to go to Vienna. And like most years, the Icelandic national final has some cracking little songs, which is amazing considering the country has a population roughly the size of the Municipality of Anchorage.
Unsurprisingly, I enjoyed a number of competitors, like this little love song by a 16-year-old young lady.
Elín Sif Halldórsdóttir "Dance Slow"
And this R&B number:
Friðrik Dór "Once Again"
But instead of something new and unique, Iceland has chosen this, the song I ranked second to last in the final.
María Ólafsdóttir "Unbroken"
Um, Iceland. Didn't Denmark send this song two years ago?
Emmilie de Forest "Only Teardrops"
It's not a one to one match, but "Unbroken" does feel like a pastiche of a winning Eurovision song. It's slick, polished, and performed competently. I just doesn't feel particularly fresh or original, something I crave with my Eurovision songs.
However, this song is built to make it to the left side of the column of the night of the Eurovision final and I don't expect it to do anything less. It doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.
Eurovision is starting up again, so it's high time for me to take a look at the next country on my list--Bulgaria.
Bulgaria is one of the world's most important producers of rose oil.
As of right now, it's unknown if Bulgaria will be participating in next year's Eurovision Song
Contest. Due to a combination of political and financial issues, the Bulgarian national broadcaster has not been able to finalize their participation in Vienna and has been given extra time by the European Broadcasting Union to make a decision on entering.
I would love to see Bulgaria back at Eurovision after a year's absence, but unlike other countries that have returned this year, I can certainly understand if the Bulgarians decided to opt out. Unlike Cyprus and Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria has a rather dire Eurovision record.
In the nine years Bulgaria sent a song to Eurovision, they only made it to the Eurovision finals once:
Elitsa Todorova and Stoyan Yankoulov "Water" 2007
Bulgaria hit the sweet spot in 2007--a pseudo-ethnic number in a year were pseudo-ethnic numbers were few and far between. That, combined with Elitsa and Stoyan's obvious talents on percussion, got them to fifth place in Helsinki.
But other than that success, Bulgarian songs have died in the semifinals:
Sometimes, it's very obvious why they failed, such as Bulgaria's entry in 2009:
Krassimir Avramov "Illusion" 2009
It's a train wreck of off-tune singing, bad costuming, strange dancing, and insane musical style mash ups. It's like they threw all the cliches for Eurovision songs into a blender and came up with this song. It's terrible, but it is amazingly so.
Most countries have had this experience, sending a song that is completely off the wall and not being able to leave the semifinals. However, Bulgaria has a problem in sending good songs with excellent performances that are stranded once votes come in from across Europe.
Poli Genova "Na inat" 2011
Sofi Marinova "Love Unlimited" 2012
In 2011 and 2012, Bulgaria sent two strong performers who gave superb performances yet failed to excite the voters.
This is where you have question the EBU's assertion that there is no "political" voting in Eurovision. Unlike Bulgaria's neighbors, Bulgaria doesn't automatically receive points because of common cultural or musical ties. That means it has to overcome a barrier that other countries rarely have to deal with.
It's not necessarily fair, but it is the nature of the contest.
I hope Bulgaria does return to Eurovision next year and I hope they are able to bring a song and performer that will blow us away. After all, Austria won last year.
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And for the record, my personal ranking of Bulgaria's entrants:
1.“Na inat”
Poli Genova 2011
2.“Love Unlimited” Sofi Marinova 2012
3.“Angel si ti”
Miro 2010 Shockingly good, but the white leather is
laughable.
4.“Let Me Cry”
Mariana Popova 2006 Very good singer, somewhat let down by the
staging (and the weird guy with the bleached hair).
5.“Water”
Elitsa & Stoyan 2007
6.“Lorraine”
Kaffe 2005 I can't even talk about how bad the lyrics are... Oh dear lord...
7.“Samo shampioni” Elitsa & Stoyan 2013 Never go back to Eurovision with the same basic song you sent before. It's not going to be successful.
8.“DJ. Take Me Away” Deep Zone & Balthazar 2008 This was their follow up to Elitsa & Stoyan? 9. “Illusion” Krassimir Avramov 2009
Every year there's the song that's touted as the front runner. This year the song from Armenia is "that" song. Take a listen.
Aram Mp3 "Not Alone"
I may be damming this song with faint praise, but I must say "Not Alone" is very polished and very professionally produced. I'll also say that Aram Mp3 is a competent singer and the song is well suited to his voice.
Yet the song doesn't linger after listening to it. Nothing makes me want to listen to either the song or the singer again, making the love that is being show for it mystifying.
It's the same argument I had with the Danish entry last year, which was pegged to win when it came out fo Dansk Grand Prix and stormed to victory in Malmö.
Emmilie de Forest "Only Teardrops" Denmark 2013
Although the songs are very different, both of them have the same level of polish and professionalism. They're songs that are calculated to appeal to the widest possible swath of people. They're songs tailored to win the contest.
Because of that, the songs themselves are completely bland. Instead of being something that will make a lasting impression, they hit immediately.
"Not Alone" could very well win the contest, but it's not one that will make any impression on the European musical landscape or have any sort of afterlife once the Contest is over.
After a couple of the big guns at Eurovision, now it's time to review the minnow in Eurovison--San Marino.
San Marino has sent Valentina Monetta for the third year and I must confess that I love the fact she's back the third time. Although her songs have been lackluster, I like the fact that she keeps trying. (I do love an underdog.)
Valentina Monetta "Forse (Maybe)"
Sadly, this is the weakest song that she has sung. It's instantly forgettable. I can't say anything more than that. It's sad that after three years, the writers haven't tailored a song to her pop/jazz talents and plunked her with a ballad that sounds like it came from the late 1980s.
After a two year absence, Poland has decided to enter Eurovision again. Happily, they've brought a song that I like quite a bit.
Donatan and Cleo "My Słowianie"
This rap/folk hybrid is really infectious and entertaining as hell. I look forward to blasting this from my car radio while driving around town--which gives it bonus points in my book.
Yet for all of my personal cheer-leading, I can see this suffering from the same fate the coolest song from last year's contest.
Who See "Ingranka" Montenegro 2013
Who See's rapping was on point and the stage show was fantastic, but it was just a little too "out there" for many of the viewers and went nowhere--coming in twelfth in the semifinal.
I predict that the same thing will happen with "My Słowianie". It doesn't deserve that fate, but it's just the nature of Eurovision. It's supposedly looking for something modern but tends to go for safe and recognizable.
Here's hoping that coolness will prevail and Poland makes the finals.
After taking care of the discussion of the winning song, I can move on to things that are much more interesting.
This section I'm going to call the "sacrificial lambs". These are songs that deserved to do much better than they did, but due to placement in the running order they got lost in the shuffle.
The best example of this is the starting song in the contest.
Amandine Bourgeois "L'enfer et moi" France
SVT put Ms. Bourgeois in the starting position of the contest with her very French song. Her pitch perfect performance was the best way for the contest to start out, and she killed it. And gave a rather nice Tina Turner impersonation in her leather fringe dress.
Problem is was she was forgotten. Bourgeois landed in 23rd place, gaining almost all of her paltry 14 points from the microstate of San Marino.
The same thing could be said for the song that SVT placed three songs after Ms. Bourgeois.
After watching the semifinal, I had pegged the Finnish entry as a possible dark horse to win the contest.
Krista Sigfrieds "Marry Me" Finland
But being placed as the first upbeat number in the contest meant that it was forgotten by the end, getting a few votes from around Europe and wound up 24th.
(I know many people would think it's because of the "lesbian" kiss at the end, but had this been placed in the last six songs of the contest, that "controversy" would have have been a moot point.)
The last of my "sacrificial lambs" is one that I could see being argued with more, the song from Iceland.
Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson "Ég á líf" Iceland
Mr. Gunnlaugsson ballad was placed after the winner and in my mind he performed the song better than the winning song. But unfortunately, being after the "fan favorite" meant that he was was going to get the unfair comparisons or completely ignored by the people still swooning over Denmark.
Iceland wound up in 17th place with points coming from all over "Western" Europe. with a song that is, in my opinion, much more appealing.
Ah, the sacrificial lambs. I hope to goodness that the EBU goes back to the previous, random, drawing of song places. What makes for a good show is really subjective and I prefer the idea of randomness giving the songs a chance to be placed in prime spots in the show, not the machinations of a few producers.
I've had to give myself a day before I posted this up, because I'm rather disappointed by the results of this contest.
I must admit that I've never been much of a fan of the winning number, but I can appreciate it's got catchy chorus and a hummable melody.
Emmelie de Forest "Only Teardrops" Denmark
It just seems rather generic. As my friend Michael W. noted, it "sounded like he had heard it before" but in a hundred different songs". It's not a song that is particularly memorable or original.
But as Eurovision tends not to reward originality, this is an example of a perfect winner. De Forest will become one of those artists that will not make a splash outside of her country again but be back at Eurovision year after year after year.
Could she become her generation's Lys Assia? Only time will tell.
Like everybody who has a love of the Eurovision Song Contest, I've been sitting down and analyzing the running order for the final.
Here's the running order, as determined by the lovely people at SVT.
1. France
2. Lithuania
3. Moldova
4. Finland
5. Spain
6. Belgium
7. Estonia
8. Belarus
9. Malta
10. Russia
11. Germany
12. Armenia
13. Netherlands
14. Romania
15. UK
16. Sweden
17. Hungary
18. Denmark
19. Iceland
20. Azerbaijan
21. Greece
22. Ukraine
23. Italy
24. Norway
25. Georgia
26. Ireland
Of course, I'm going to be looking at my personal favorite, Anouk for the Netherlands. Unluckily drawn into the first half, she's got a good position--the last song in the first half. She's also between two really lousy songs--the Armenian ecoballad and the (forgive me for offending delicate sensibilities) salute to menstruation--Romania, which will hopefully make the song stand out.
Anouk "Birds" the Netherlands
I hope for a good result for the Dutch entry--maybe a top ten position. I doubt Anouk can win--the song is kind of too classy for the room. If it does, just expect me to be very, very, happy.
As for likely winners, if I were to put down some money, I'd actually go with Ukraine.
Zlata Ognevich "Gravity" Ukraine
It's well placed and if performed the way it was in this clip, it's worthy of winning the Eurovision Song Contest.
And as a long shot, I'd put some money down on this song too:
Really there are only three songs that are likely winners that I don't particularly care for.
Cascada "Glorious" Germany
Emmilie de Forest "Only Teardrops" Denmark
Both of them seem way too generic to actually inspire love, but they are true fan favorites.
Farid Mammadov "Hold Me" Azerbaijan
And on this one, the song is very much back burner to the fantastic gimmick. It's like the sand lady from Ukraine a few years back. That's not a particularly flattering comparison, but it's going to get votes.
But all of this analysis is really pointless. I'm just looking forward to tomorrow morning--the final starts at 11 AM local time here in Alaska. And then comes my favorite part of the Eurovision season. The Eurovision parties to determine Alaska's Choice!
Goodbye Albania, San Marino, and Israel. Hello Iceland, Armenia, and Romania.
I must admit I found this semifinal much less exciting that the first semifinal. You would have thought otherwise, since there were fewer obvious songs that were going to the final. But I suppose since my favorite song wasn't in this semi, I didn't feel the personal connection.
But I did get a couple of surprises. I wound up loving a song that I hated when I first heard it.
Krista Sigfrieds "Marry Me" Finland
Congratulations, Ms. Sigfrieds. I get the song now. I'm no longer offended; I'm completely on board.
I'm going to be perfectly honest. I don't understand how Armenia made it through. It wasn't a good performance and unlike the Belgian entry that I'm not particularly fond of it didn't even feel modern and fun. In fact the lead singer went off key a bit at the end.
Dorians "Lonely Planet" Armenia
Block voting? Probably. Did it keep out better songs. Hell yes. But good for Armenia. You're back in the final even with a lousy song and a lackluster performance.
Would I have preferred to see another song in? Yes. I loved Israel's ballad, Valentina Monetta's redemption song from San Marino, or this:
Adrian Lulgjuraj and Bledar Sejko "Identitet" Albania
It was so disappointing to see how poorly it looked on stage. Had it been shot differently, the energy level would have been higher and it could have qualified. Maybe.
But that's just the nature of Eurovision, songs you love don't make it through while songs that don't rate do.
Tomorrow, the fun begins! The build up to Saturday's final!
I would love to be able to stay impartial, but I can't help it. My favorite song made it to the final this year!
Anouk "Birds" The Netherlands
Absolute perfection as far as I'm concerned--the shots of her with the crowd waving along to the song with the stage behind her completely sold it.
Mind you I about had a heart attack watching the results. The results are random. Yeah, right. They were specifically calibrated to give me a freaking heart attack.
But the real shock of the first semifinal was the absolute lock out of any countries from the former Yugoslavia. None of the four countries from the former Yugoslavia made it through to Saturday night.
It could be because of the new ranking of songs, where all are ranked instead of the top ten. But when you look back at the songs from Croatia, Montenegro, Serbia, and Slovenia, none of them were true contenders this year, because they were either poorly performed or inaccessible to Europe as a whole.
For example:
Who See "Ingranka" Montenegro
This is a pretty amazing performance, and perhaps the most "in your face" performance in the semifinal. It feels fresh and modern, but outside the Balkans nobody would vote for it.
But the shock qualifier for me was another Benelux country:
Roberto Bellarosa "Loff Keels" Belgium
Bellarosa looked like a scared chicken when he was performing and his English pronunciation of phrases like "Love Kills" and "bitter pill" (excuse me "beater peel") make me wonder what was in the water to put Belgium's number over something like this.
Klapa s Moro "Mižerja" Croatia
When something like this happens, I have to remind myself it's not always about the quality of the performance, it's what sounds more popular. So the amazing Klapa s Moro are going home while the Belgian chicken clucks another day. (I'm not bitter. Not one bit.)
I am looking forward to Thursday and the second semifinal. If the production is half as good as the production for this semifinal, it's going to be the best Eurovision Song Contest in years.
Any country who can put a fresh spin on last year's winning song
Loreen and Children of Malmö "Euphoria"
and provide comedic relief that is actually funny gets my vote.
Lynda Woodruff (Sarah Dawn Finer)
(Sadly they don't have her first part of her tour of Sweden isn't available online yet. Enjoy this clip from this year's Melodifestivalen.)
If you have the time, you really should watch the entire contest--it's easily streamed from the official Eurovision website.
Now back to listening to the songs. Maybe after another six or seven listens I can actually figure out what's going on with the Serbian entry...
The bad thing about Eurovision for me, here in Alaska, is that it takes place so early in the day.
While Europeans are at home enjoying a night of light entertainment, I'm at the start of my work day here in Alaska. It means I'm constantly refreshing the Internet, looking for updates while attempting to do my job.
For the most part I succeed. But Eurovision is much more fun that making sure numbers balance on ledgers or keeping up with the latest news on health care reform.
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Enough about the joys of human resources in Alaska, you're hear to learn my choices to make the final from the first semifinal.
But after spending a few months listening and ranking these songs, it's time to give my choices on the songs I think will go to the semifinal.
The amazing thing about this list is that there are only three that I am completely confident of making it through--Denmark, Russia, and Ukraine. Denmark has been the favorite of many people in the Eurovision community (although not mine) and Russia and Ukraine are perennial qualifiers and the songs aren't completely horrible, so they're locks.
Ireland and Serbia are the second tier. They're likely to make it through. Ireland has had a lot of good buzz which means people will likely vote for it. Serbia's song is pretty terrible, but with a good placing and likely Balkan Bloc voting it will be make it through.
That pretty much leaves Belarus, Cyprus, Estonia, Slovenia, and the Netherlands as my final five choices. I have no real reason to say about these five other my choices are a combination of personal favorites and what I think Europe will vote for on Tuesday night.
I can see any of those five being replaced by Austria, Croatia, or Moldova. All eight of those songs have an opportunity to take the final five places.
The only three that I can't see any chance of making it through are Belgium, Lithuania, and Montenegro. The first two just seem lame, while the third is so "out there" that people aren't likely to get it. (Although I must admit I love the astronauts.)
So there's my two cents on the final. Now here comes some begging.
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Please. Please. Please. If you live in Europe and vote in the first semifinal, kindly consider using one of your televotes for this song.
Anouk "Birds" The Netherlands
You'd make a Eurovision fan who can't put in his two cents very happy.
I hate to say this, but Moldova has completely missed it this year. Instead of going with something insanely upbeat and fun--the hallmark of Moldovan entries--Moldova has gone with a ballad.
I just can't see "O Mie" doing at all well, and it bores me to tears.
And there were so many more interesting songs that would have made me much happier if they had made it through.
Irina Kitoroagă "L.O.V.E. Love"
Doiniţa Gherman "Planeta e un rai"
And the saddest thing about this post is I can't put up the actual songs from the Moldovan national final in this post. For whatever reason, they're not available online. So if you want to see the actual performances, you should watch the national final here. I highly recommend it, especially for the fashions. The Moldovan costumes are pretty fabulous.
Last but not least, the granddaddy of Eurovision finals, Sweden.
And yet again, Sweden has following musical trends in the United States. Two years ago they sent the Swedish Justin Bieber and last year they won with a song that was very much influenced by Lady Gaga. Now we have this.
Robin Stjernberg "You"
Fun. featuring Janelle Monae "We Are Young"
I get why Stjernberg won the contest--that hooky chorus cribbed from Fun. is catchy even when it's been recycled. It's going to score well. Sweden may even contend for the win.
I just don't want to listen to it again; I've heard versions of it enough.
But as always with Swedish entries, I defer to my favorite Swedish lady, Annia W.
"His pants are ugly. He's pitchy. It's Euro-techno-pop and I'm 100% sure Sweden won't win again - which I'm sure they don't want, it's a costly affair. They're lucky they automatically qualify to participate, lol. The dancers are SUPER-cool!"
And to be perfectly honest to Annia, there wasn't much to choose from in this Melodifestivalen finals. There were a bunch of pop songs sung by young men that all kind of blended together.
David Lindgren "Shout it Out"
Yohio "Heartbreak Hotel"
And then there were the gimmick songs:
Ravillacz "En riktig jävla schlager"
Sean Banan "Copacabanana"
Pretty much the Melodifestivalen final was about as compelling as cottage cheese this year. But at least Caroline af Ugglas came back and tried again.
Caroline af Ugglas "Hon Har Inte"
She didn't make it out of the "Second Chance" round. But at least I got to hear a singer I actually like a lot.
It's a race against time to get my reviews of the national finals in before the first semi on Tuesday morning, and it wasn't a smart thing for me to put off the Maltese national final.
Malta's final, broadcast back on February 2nd, is the largest final in this Eurovision season, with sixteen songs competing for a chance to be sent to Malmö.
An underdog won the contest.
This song was expected to win:
Kevin Borg "Needing You"
Borg made a name for himself in Sweden, where be became the winner of Swedish Idol, and establishing himself as a musical presence in that company. So it was kind of expected that he would win Malta's Eurovision Song.
However, Borg was pipped to the post by the singer of this song.
Gianluca Bezzina "Tomorrow"
Gianluca is a doctor who sings in a band for fun, and his performance of the pop story song "Tomorrow" scored incredibly well with the both the jury and the public. It gave him the win.
I can see how Bezzinna topped Borg, and it's due to the performance styles. Bezzina's freshness and enthusiactic charisma is so much more compelling that Borg's smooth professionalism. It makes Bezzina stand out and is my choice between the two songs.
But had I been a Maltese juror, I wouldn't have given either of them my top score. I would have chosen this song as my favorite.
Davinia Pace "Betrayal"
I enjoy the faux-Bond "Betrayal", and Pace's voice is quite entrancing. I must admit her stage presence leaves a bit to be desired, but that could be corrected. What shocked me is the fact that I got sucked in by a Thomas G:son song.
G:son is currently the darling of the Eurovision world, having composed last year's winning number, and has had songs performed in finals all over Europe. I feel kind of ashamed by being sucked in by one of his songs; I feel I should be cooler. (It's just taught me to be more accepting of what's popular. Popular doesn't always equal bad.)
As finals go, however, I have to say that the Maltese final as a whole was really quite good. Who would have thought in a country of less than half a million people would have such good singers and be able to put on such a good show. I recommend you go and watch the entire show. PBS did quite a good job and all of them would have been worthy choices to go to Eurovision.
Well, almost...
Dominique "Too Little Too Late"
Sorry Dominique, you have a clear voice, but the song was a little above your skill level.
Romania is a country that has had a very successful track record at Eurovision in the past few years, so the results of their national final--Selecția Națională--usually produces a song that could potentially contend in the Eurovision final.
I have to say that the Romanian public chose the most interesting song to be sent to Eurovision this year.
Cezar "It's My Life"
Interesting, right? Cezar is a classically trained countertenor and this song an audition piece, featuring his vocal range. It brings to mind a song from a couple of years ago:
Malena Ernman "La Voix" Sweden 2009
I have to admit that "It's My Life" is definitely stands out this year--as many other commentators have noted, this is a serious ballad laden contest. Cezar's performance is the antithesis to that, and it's one of the few songs that have a whiff of camp to it--something that has been missing from the contest in the past few years.
As for Cezar's chances to make it to the final, I have to say it's questionable at best. Although Ernman did rather well--coming in fourth in her semi-final--a man singing at the level of a mezzo-soprano is much less acceptable than a comely blonde.
But Romania is the last song in the semifinal it's placed in and Romania has qualified every year that a semi-final has been in place--so it's likely to qualify and sink to the bottom on Saturday night, much like "La Voix" did.
I can respect the choice of the Romanian public. I don't understand the choice. I would have gone with the song that won the jury vote:
Electric Fence "Emilia"
It its own way, "Emilia" is as odd as "It's My Life", but it's weirdness is very much of many of the Moldovan entries of previous years. Those Moldovan entries have become personal favorites, and I would have loved seeing Electric Fence bouncing around the stage in Malmö.
Would it have been a better choice? I honestly don't know. But it would have been fun to watch.
Well, now that Azerbaijan has won and hosted the Eurovision Song Contest, the big question was what would they do next?
And the answer to that was--karaoke night!
After years of well polished, well turned out performances in the contest, I actually decided to sit down and watch the final of Milli Seçim Turu, Azerbaijan's national selection process.
This was absolute torture to sit and listen to. Absolute torture. I cannot believe that the Azerbaijani national broadcaster would put on a show where it seems like everybody was off key and the sound design was done by a rank amateur.
For example take a listen to poor Nigar Huseynova's performance:
Nigar Huseynova "I Still Believe"
She's a soprano. The audio people were so unprepared for her high note it causes feedback. And you can hear the wind machine at the end.
The songs and the music weren't that much better. Take a listen to my vote for worst song in a Eurovision final this year.
Aysel Babayeva "Sleazy Mo"
I'm going to paraphrase a justice of the Supreme Court of the United States here. I may not know how to define atrocious, but I know atrocious when I hear it.
Really none of the songs come out particularly well. Even the winning song sounds particularly terrible in the final.
Farid Mammadov "Hold Me"
I must admit I would have voted for him because he actually sounded great during the chorus of his song, something that nobody else was able to do with the bad sound engineering. (Although I do dock him points for mumbling his way through the first verse.) And I like the ombre shirt.
I have no real opinion on Mammadov, he seems capable enough and the song seems likely enough to make it through to the final. I fully suspect that the Azerbaijani music machine will train him and clean him up enough to allow the song to make a good showing.
Watching the entire thing leaves me with one question. Are Azerbaijani national finals always this bad? San Marino had a better presentation, and they're a country with less than 40,000 people.
