My Predictions: Final 2013

Like everybody who has a love of the Eurovision Song Contest, I've been sitting down and analyzing the running order for the final.

Here's the running order, as determined by the lovely people at SVT.

1. France

2. Lithuania

3. Moldova

4. Finland

5. Spain

6. Belgium

7. Estonia

8. Belarus

9. Malta

10. Russia

11. Germany

12. Armenia

13. Netherlands

14. Romania

15. UK

16. Sweden

17. Hungary

18. Denmark

19. Iceland

20. Azerbaijan

21. Greece

22. Ukraine

23. Italy

24. Norway

25. Georgia

26. Ireland

Of course, I'm going to be looking at my personal favorite, Anouk for the Netherlands.  Unluckily drawn into the first half, she's got a good position--the last song in the first half.   She's also between two really lousy songs--the Armenian ecoballad and the (forgive me for offending delicate sensibilities) salute to menstruation--Romania, which will hopefully make the song stand out.

Anouk   "Birds"   the Netherlands

I hope for a good result for the Dutch entry--maybe a top ten position.   I doubt Anouk can win--the song is kind of too classy for the room.  If it does, just expect me to be very, very, happy.

As for likely winners, if I were to put down some money, I'd actually go with Ukraine. 

Zlata Ognevich   "Gravity"   Ukraine

It's well placed and if performed the way it was in this clip, it's worthy of winning the Eurovision Song Contest.

And as a long shot, I'd put some money down on this song too:

Krista Sigfrieds   "Marry Me"   Finland

Hatred has turned to love on this one.  

But to be honest any number of countries songs would be worthy.   Norway, Georgia, Ireland, Italy, Greece,  France, Russia, Moldova, and Iceland are all songs that I would be happy to see win.  

Really there are only three songs that are likely winners that I don't particularly care for.

Cascada   "Glorious"  Germany

Emmilie de Forest   "Only Teardrops"   Denmark

Both of them seem way too generic to actually inspire love, but they are true fan favorites. 

Farid Mammadov   "Hold Me"   Azerbaijan

And on this one, the song is very much back burner to the fantastic gimmick.   It's like the sand lady from Ukraine a few years back.    That's not a particularly flattering comparison, but it's going to get votes.



But all of this analysis is really pointless.  I'm just looking forward to tomorrow morning--the final starts at 11 AM local time here in Alaska.   And then comes my favorite part of the Eurovision season.  The Eurovision parties to determine Alaska's Choice!

Eurovision 2013: Azerbaijan

Well, now that Azerbaijan has won and hosted the Eurovision Song Contest, the big question was what would they do next?

And the answer to that was--karaoke night!

After years of well polished, well turned out performances in the contest,  I actually decided to sit down and watch the final of Milli Seçim Turu, Azerbaijan's national selection process. 

This was absolute torture to sit and listen to.  Absolute torture.  I cannot believe that the Azerbaijani national broadcaster would put on a show where it seems like everybody was off key and the sound design was done by a rank amateur.  

For example take a listen to poor Nigar Huseynova's performance:

 

Nigar Huseynova  "I Still Believe"

 

She's a soprano.  The audio people were so unprepared for her high note it causes feedback.  And you can hear the wind machine at the end.

 

The songs and the music weren't that much better.  Take a listen to my vote for worst song in a Eurovision final this year.

 

 

Aysel Babayeva  "Sleazy Mo"

 

I'm going to paraphrase a justice of the Supreme Court of the United States here.  I may not know how to define atrocious, but I know atrocious when I hear it.

 

Really none of the songs come out particularly well.  Even the winning song sounds particularly terrible in the final.

 



 

  Farid Mammadov   "Hold Me"

 

I must admit I would have voted for him because he actually sounded great during the chorus of his song, something that nobody else was able to do with the bad sound engineering.  (Although I do dock him points for mumbling his way through the first verse.)   And I like the ombre shirt. 

 

I have no real opinion on Mammadov, he seems capable enough and the song seems likely enough to make it through to the final.  I fully suspect that the Azerbaijani music machine will train him and clean him up enough to allow the song to make a good showing.

 

Watching the entire thing leaves me with one question.  Are Azerbaijani national finals always this bad?   San Marino had a better presentation, and they're a country with less than 40,000 people.