Eurovision 2016: The Aftermath

It's been a month since the final of the Eurovision Song Contest, and only now have I felt the need to sit down and write about it, because unlike many previous years.

1.   Logo kind of ruined Eurovision for me.

I have to say that at first blush, Logo and the Eurovision Song Contest seemed to go together quite well.   The Eurovision Song Contest has a huge gay following and Logo is the "gay" network.

But when my husband and I tuned in, I was kind of appalled by the slapdash commentary provided by Carson Kressley and Michelle Collins.   Neither of them knew much about Eurovision and Kressley's ignorance combined with vapidly pointless comments made me very angry.   It's something that I hope that they don't repeat in the future.

2.   There is no way for people in the US to watch Eurovision.

Because of the agreements between the EBU and Logo, the site at Eurovision.TV that allows you to stream the contest at will is not longer available here in the United States.     All the clips of the contestants are blocked, and this means I can't link to any of them here in this blog.

Croatia's entry was supercool, but I can't post it in my blog because I'm in the US.  (source eurovisionary.com)

I suspect that Viacom, the company that owns Logo and all the other NBC networks is attempting to cash in on Eurovision.   I don't see this happening any time soon and hope they will allow us to view them soon.  

I doubt that--it just means that I'll likely get a DVD of this year's contest and watch it on my European DVD player.

3.   The winning song was the best song in this year's contest.

There was a lot of sour grapes when the voting ended and Ukraine wound up winning the contest, especially among Russians, who felt that the rightful winner was the Russian entry.

But my little Eurovision party disagreed with that, as my friend Lori said, Jamala's performance "gave (her) goosebumps".  

Even in this clip, the winner's reprise, there is still power in the song

Jamala   "1944"

Needless to say, it was the winning song in my little Eurovision viewing party as well.   It's the first time my friends and the European public have agreed on the winning song.

4.   The new voting system worked.

I wasn't a fan of the new voting system, where the countries' jury votes were announced separately and the public votes were combined together when it was announced.   But when it was put into practice, the suspense was nail biting.

When the points for the winner of the televote were announced, Russia Sergey Lazarev, I fell on the floor when the points he received were not enough to win.

The voting can stay.

And that's pretty much it for me.   I wish I could say more, but the inability to share the clips here takes away most of the fun.

Hopefully things will change next year.

Semifinal Two 2016: Who Will Qualify

Here we go again:   My picks to make the final tonight.

Here's my first analysis of the songs and where they'll fall:

The Sure Qualifiers

• Serbia
• Bulgaria
• Ukraine

The Songs Without A Chance

• Switzerland
• Slovenia
• Denmark
• Albania

The Undefined Middle

• Latvia
• Poland
• Israel
• Belarus
• Ireland
• Macedonia
• Australia
• Norway
• Georgia
• Belgium

So, with very little knowledge of the behind the scenes drama, here are my picks.

• Australia
• Belgium
• Bulgaria
• Latvia
• Ireland
• Israel
• Norway
• Poland
• Serbia
• Ukraine

And my request for anybody who is voting for in this semifinal, please consider voting for this song.

Jamala    "1944"   Ukraine

Jamala is the most talented performer in this year's contest and this is my favorite song in the contest.  There's nothing more I can say.

Semifinal One 2016: The aftermath

And here are the ten songs who made it through to the final on Saturday

• Armenia
• Austria
• Azerbaijan
• Croatia
• Czech Republic
• Cyprus
• Hungary
• Malta
• the Netherlands
• Russia

Seven out of ten isn't particularly bad, and after watching the final, 

I can't really say that I disagree.  After watching the show, nine out of ten of these are ones that were obvious finalists.  

The Biggest Surprise

Nina Kraljić   "Lighthouse"  Croatia

I had thought an early place in the running order combined with an over-the-top costume would prevent Croatia from qualifying.  The Croatian broadcaster hasn't always been the best at staging songs, so I'm glad to see this overcame the visual deficiency.

The Biggest Disappointment

Samra    "Miracle"   Azerbaijan

In my opinion, "Miracle" was the song that didn't deserve to qualify in the top ten.   The staging was tacky and the vocals were weak.   And the gold plated American football uniform?    Don't get me started.

The Song I Would Have Voted For

Highway   "The Real Thing"   Montenegro

Although the Czech Republic would have gotten my first vote, Montenegro came in a close second.   While the somewhat experimental hard rock was something that would have never qualified, I really responded to the music and staging.   In a semifinal of things that were polished to an inch of their life, "The Real Thing" was interesting because it was deliberately unpolished.

The Can't Miss Song

Serhat   "I Didn't Know"  San Marino

I could have gone with the Armenian or Russian entries here, but really you'll see them elsewhere.   San Marino's utter weirdness deserves to be highlighted here.   It's trying so hard to be kitschy camp and it fails.  It's worth a watch. 

Semifinal One 2016: Who Will Qualify

Tomorrow is the first semifinal of Eurovision, and it's time for me to make my predictions on the countries that will qualify.

The Sure Qualifiers

• Hungary
• Armenia
• Russia
• Malta

The Songs Without A Chance

• Finland
• Moldova
• San Marino
• Montenegro

The Undefined Middle

• Greece
• Croatia
• Netherlands
• Czech Republic
• Cyprus
• Austria
• Estonia
• Azerbaijan
• Iceland
• Bosnia/Herzegovina

As opposed to previous years, I haven't been following the ins and outs of the contest as prior years, so these are more personal guesses that anything else.

• Armenia
• Azerbaijan
• Bosnia/Herzegovina
• Czech Republic
• Cyprus
• Greece
• Hungary
• Iceland
• Malta
• Russia

And as I do every year, I'm putting in a request.  If you are reading this and are in a country that votes in this semifinal, please consider voting for this song.

Gabriela Gunčíková   "I Stand"   Czech Republic

This is a bog standard ballad, but Gunčíková performs it perfectly.  Besides, the Czech Republic have never qualified for the final and this is a good song.

Eurovision 2016: Austria

Austria has chosen the musical version of a kitten calendar picture

I have to hand it to Austria, when watching their national final, Wer singt für Österreich?, I was not bored.    The program, presented back on February 12th, didn't fall back on the usual Eurovision tropes.

I still don't know the musical genre this song belongs to

AzRaH   "The One"

The music just calls out to be played over and over again.  Is it jazz?   Is it rock?   I don't know.   I just wish the singer's nerves hadn't gotten the best of her, because boy is it hard to listen to.   Go search out the recorded version of the song.  

I'm also amazed by the provocative nature of this song:

Bella Wagner   "Weapons Down"

I really never expected a song like this to be presented in a national final, much less come in third.  The song is about a standard Eurovision topic--peace--but the song style and presentation were meant to unsettle.   That is something that is rarely seen at Eurovision and I have great respect for Wagner as an artist and the Austrian jury for ranking this so highly.   

But when all the votes were tallied, this is the song that won

Zoe    "Loin d'ici"

Yep.  It's in French.   And she is dressed up like a Disney princess.  Zoë is nineteen years old, but the styling of the song makes her look much younger, and like Iceland's entry last year, it's something I I actively dislike   The combination of the pretentiousness of the use of French and preciousness in the presentation of this song make me cringe.  As is, I cannot see anybody wanting to vote for this unless they were young girls unlikely to be allowed to vote in the semifinals because it's past their bedtime.

I wish I could be kinder to Austria's choice, but when it cam from a contest that had such interesting music and this was the song chosen, I can't help but be a bit disappointed.

Eurovision 2016: Netherlands

My husband, who is both a Europhile and a bit of a smart ass, has always said that the Netherlands is the "America of Europe".  I've always taken that statement with a grain of salt, but with with each new Eurovision entry I see, I'm starting to believe him.

Douwe Bob   "Slow Down"

Alt-country?   Alt-country is a thing in the Netherlands?  I thought The Common Linnets was a one off thing...

Seriously, this is the first song that I have heard this year that makes me think that it could win the contest.   The song is upbeat, catchy, and unique.  It made me immediately want to pick up the phone and vote for it.   That is what I consider to be a successful song.

If the Dutch get the staging right and the song has a good placement in the final, this song has a good chance of doing extremely well.   

Eurovison 2016: Macedonia

No matter where they fall at Eurovision, Macedonia is always on top of national flags.

As I mentioned in my review of last year's Macedonian entry, Kaliopi is one of the best singers their country has, and it's unsurprising that they have turned to her to represent their country again this year.

"Crno i Belo" is one of my favorite Eurovision songs, so I had high hopes for the song she would bring to Stockholm.

Kaliopi   "Dona"

Unfortunately, this song is not as strong as her previous entry, with no build and a repetitive chorus.  While her ability to clearly interpret lyrics is as strong as ever, she has been let down by the song she has been given to perform.

"Dona" is a marginal qualifier at best and it saddens me to say that.  

Eurovision 2016: Ukraine

Ukraine is a country that takes Eurovision seriously.   This year's national final, which took place on February 21st, showed that a one year absence from the contest hasn't changed the quality of the song and performer they send.

Unlike the rest of the national finals I've watched so far, this is the first one that I haven't found disappointing.  Out of the six songs that were in the national final, only one song was not strong enough to represent the country in Stockholm.

Brunettes Shoot Blondes  "Every Monday"

Sorry Brunettes Shoot Blondes.  You had no chance.   But I love your band name.

Any of the other five songs would have been a strong entry, but only two songs really had a chance to win.

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Jamala   "1944"

The Hardkiss   "Helpless"

Both songs are musically interesting and well performed and after the votes of the juries and viewers at home were combined, they both received an equal number of points.   However, "1944" received more televotes, superseding the judges preference, and Jamala will be heading to Stockholm. 

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I was personally happy about the choice because Jamala is an artist whose career I've been following for a number of years, having discovered her after hearing her cover of the song "History Repeating".

Jamala   "History Repeating"

I also loved her song from the last time she tried to represent her country in Eurovision.

Jamala   "Smile"   2011 Ukraine National Final

So even if this song was weak, I would have hoped she would win the competition. 

---

Jamala's win has been controversial.   "1944" is about the forced deportation of Crimean Tatars from Ukraine to Central Asia, based on the stories of the artist's great-grandmother's experience, and many consider it to be too political to be performed on the Eurovision stage.

The EBU has given the go-ahead for the song to be performed determining the song does not contain political speech.   It is the right decision.  There is no denying the song is political, but it is not a song that names a group in a way that would peg it as political speech.   It is a category of songs like Russia's 2005 entry about American school shootings, Monaco's 1967 entry about the the fear of dying in a nuclear bombing, or Greece's 1976 entry about the Turkish occupation/invasion of Northern Cyprus.

Ukraine made a good choice when sending Jamala, and I'm looking forward to her performance in May.

Eurovision 2016: Ireland.

All Irish stereotypes in one picture.

Ireland hasdone something that they've needed to do for years--they've scrapped their national final and tried something different.

Instead of doing a national final with a bunch of unknowns, Ireland has internally selected an established performer.

Nicky Byrne became famous as part of the Irish boy band Westlife and parlayed that into a career as a presenter on Irish radio and television and has been a part of the last three Eurovisions as the Irish spokesperson, presenting the Irish votes.

So it was a natural choice that Byrne would represent the country.

Nicky Byrne   "Sunlight"

I have to say that it's a step in the right direction, this is a piece of pop without any of the Celtic influences that have popped up in a lot of recent entries.

But I can't say that I see this as a song that will win the Eurovision Song Contest.

First of all, the song sounds dated.   Instead of feeling modern, this song sounds like it's from the early 2000s, the heyday of Byrne's former band Westlife.   It's not surprising that this would be the sound Byrne would have gone for--that sound has made him a decent living.  I just wonder how this will hold up against songs that have a more modern musical feel.

I also have to say in the two live performances I've seen, Byrne has underwhelmed.   Westlife was one of the most commercially successful Irish pop acts ever, but it was a manufactured group/  These live performances make me think that Byrne was a part of Westlife less for his musical ability than for his good looks.   "Sunlight" is more spoken than sung and Byrne has battled with staying on pitch during those live performances.  Still he does look good in those leather jackets.

This is no winner.   But it is a step in the right direction for a country who has seemed to be stuck in the 1990s when it comes to Eurovision.

Eurovision 2016: Belarus

But I don't feel it deep inside for this year's final.

I have to say that watching the Eurovision national finals have been a slog.   After the disappointment of Belgium, I was hoping for a more exciting final from Belarus.

It didn't happen.

Belarus's national final took place over a month ago, on January 22nd, where ten acts took competed to represent their country in Stockholm, and they selected this:

Ivan   "Help You Fly"

There's nothing about this song or performer that is particularly memorable, and that's kind of the kiss of death for a country like Belarus.  This type of music is somewhat popular in their part of the world, but in a semifinal without most of their neighbors, Belarus needed to send a song that would appeal to the rest of Europe.   

A song cut from the sequel to Top Gun is not that song.

But this entry is just as good as any in the contest.   There was nothing that stood out and really nothing worth mentioning, save the song I would have voted for:

NAVI   "Heta ziamlia"

I'm a sucker for peppy songs and songs in national languages, so I would have voted for this.  It would have had the same chance as "Help You Fly" will.

Better luck next year, Belarus.

Eurovision 2016: Belgium

Finally, Eurovision season has started, and I get to take a look at the songs that are trying to win the 2016 contest.

Can Belgium match last year's success?

First up this year is Belgium, who have two broadcasters who share the duties of sending a song, and this year it's the Flemish broadcaster VRT's turn.

VRT's track record in recent years hasn't been particularly stellar, and they decided to change things up by featuring "five young musical talents" who were vetted by "music experts" associated with the broadcaster.

I admire the broadcaster for wanting to discover a new singer.  Yet when watching the final, the contest felt more like it felt like talent night at an magnet school for the arts.   It's evident that there was talent among the contestants, but nothing fully formed.

That showed in the staging of all of the songs.

There was blatant stealing from previous successful Eurovision contestants:

Adil Aarab   "In Our Nature"

We know that Mans Zelmerlöw won last year, but doing the exact same things doesn't equal a winning formula.   It just looks lazy.

And then some extremely confusing props

Amaryllis Uitterlinden   "Kick The Habit"

I'm still trying to figure out what the spiderweb and bouncing lanterns actually has to do with the song.

Not even the winning entry felt fully formed.

Laura Tesoro   "What's The Pressure"

I am a big fan of disco, but the weakest part of the song is Tesoro herself.   The song is fun, but the girl was so awkward and low energy during the final, it made me wish that they would get rid of her and remix the song for her backing singers.   It's not a good sign.

Luckily, they have a few months to rehearse, and hopefully the girl will get enough confidence to actually connect with the audience.   For Belgium to make the finals, they have to bring a great song with a great performance.   Laura Tesoro and "What's The Pressure" aren't great right now.