Eurovision 2014: Sweden

Melodifestivalen...

For watchers of national finals, Sweden's national Eurovision selection process is the be all and end all.   The final, held on March 8th, was a show that pretty much delivered on all levels--strong songs, quality production values, and a nail-biting voting process.

For Eurovision lovers, there was something for everybody.

The Swedish take on Henry Rollins:

Linus Svenning  "Broeder"

A former Eurovision winner:

Helena Paparizou  "Survivor"

And sparkly man pants:

Alcazar  "Blame It On The Disco"  

And had they been performed in another country, those three songs would have been sure winners.  But it's Melodifestivalen, so they were some of the also-rans.

A strong ballad with a little vocal ornamentation trumped all the bells and whistles in the other songs.   Seventh time's the charm for Nielsen, who has been attempting to represent Sweden at Eurovision since 2001.

Sanna Nielsen  "Undo"

Annia W., my favorite Swede, agrees with the result.  She texted me after the contest telling me "the best song won".

Usually Annia and I are simpatico when it comes to Melodifestivalen, but this year I have to disagree.  The song I would have voted for was this number.

Panetoz  "Efter solsken"

I must confess a personal preference for Afropop, and this song was very well performed.  I would have voted for it, knowing it would have not likely not gone anywhere.

And it didn't.  It came in ninth out of ten songs in the final.

But even so, I still don't think "Undo" would have been the most successful of the Swedish choices come Eurovision time. 

Ace Wilder   "Busy Doin' Nothin'"

Wilder came in second at the end of the final, losing to Nielsen by only two points and is by far the more memorable song.   It's immediately infectious and unforgettable, while Nielsen's song is very nice.  In fact, the Swedish pop charts agree with me.  "Busy Doin" Nothing" is number one while "Undo" is number two.

But I'm sure that Sweden's going to sail through the semifinal and have another successful finish.  "Undo" is likely to make a top 10 finish, and not let Swedes down.

Eurovision 2014: Armenia

Every year there's the song that's touted as the front runner. This year the song from Armenia is "that" song.  Take a listen.

Aram Mp3  "Not Alone"

I may be damming this song with faint praise, but I must say "Not Alone" is very polished and very professionally produced.  I'll also say that Aram Mp3 is a competent singer and the song is well suited to his voice.

Yet the song doesn't linger after listening to it.  Nothing makes me want to listen to either the song or the singer again, making the love that is being show for it mystifying.

It's the same argument I had with the Danish entry last year, which was pegged to win when it came out fo Dansk Grand Prix and stormed to victory in Malmö. 

 Emmilie de Forest  "Only Teardrops"  Denmark  2013

Although the songs are very different, both of them have the same level of polish and professionalism.   They're songs that are calculated to appeal to the widest possible swath of people.  They're songs tailored to win the contest.

Because of that, the songs themselves are completely bland.  Instead of being something that will make a lasting impression, they hit immediately.  

"Not Alone" could very well win the contest, but it's not one that will make any impression on the European musical landscape or have any sort of afterlife once the Contest is over. 

Eurovision 2014: Austria

Austria was very unique in their approach to Eurovision this year.  Instead of a national final or a surprise announcement of performer, The Austrian broadcaster, ORF, announce their performer--Conchita Wurst--back in September of last year.

Yet the song, "Rise Like A Phoenix", was one of the last songs presented--announced just a few weeks ago on March 18th.

The process in announcing their choices was intriguing, but then again, Conchita Wurst is an intriguing performer.

Conchita Wurst is the drag persona of Tom Neuwirth.  Wurst  came to national prominence after her second place finish in the 2011 Austrian national finals and has parlayed that success into becoming a minor celebrity in her home country, appearing on reality television shows like "The Hardest Jobs In Austria".  

Conchita Wurst   "Rise Like A Phoenix"

Wurst is serving some Shirley Bassey realness, and in my mind it's the best kind of realness to be served.  Instead of the typical Bond-lite songs that come to Eurovision, this sounds like it could be the anthem of the next Bond movie.

And Wurst knocks it out of the park with both the vocals and the performance.  It's one of my two favorite songs in this contest.

But whether it will do well has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of either the song and performance.  It's going to depend on how people across Europe respond to Ms. Wurst herself.

Neuwirth created Conchita Wurst--a bearded lady--as a statement against the discrimination he faced in his teenage years.  Wurst is a symbol for equality for all people--no matter their gender or sexual orientation--and that sort of freedom is not allowed in the many countries that take part in the Eurovision Song Contest.  That up front statement could potentially be a turnoff to those who don't agree with Ms. Wurst's beliefs.

It's going to be one of the suspenseful parts of Eurovision this year and I can't wait.

Eurovision 2014: San Marino

After a couple of the big guns at Eurovision, now it's time to review the minnow in Eurovison--San Marino.

San Marino has sent Valentina Monetta for the third year and I must confess that I love the fact she's back the third time.  Although her songs have been lackluster, I like the fact that she keeps trying.  (I do love an underdog.)

Valentina Monetta  "Forse (Maybe)"

Sadly, this is the weakest song that she has sung.  It's instantly forgettable.  I can't say anything more than that.   It's sad that after three years, the writers haven't tailored a song to her pop/jazz talents and plunked her with a ballad that sounds like it came from the late 1980s.

It's a big disappointment.

Eurovision 2014: United Kingdom

I have to say good on the BBC for actually deciding to change up their process for selecting a song to go to Eurovision.

Instead of selecting a previously successful act to represent them--like Blue, Bonnie Tyler, or Englebert Humperdink--the BBC is sending a relatively unknown singer to Copenhagen to represent the hopes of a country hungry for another Eurovision win.

Molly   "Children of the Universe"

I have to say that whomever planned this presentation was smart.  Having Molly present the song live in front of an audience, putting to rest the off key performances of the past few years was smart.  Because of their live presentation, "Children of The Universe" has a buzz that the UK's past few entries haven't had.

I'd be on board with the buzz, but I am not one of those people who loves the song.  Why?  The lyrics are heavy handed and insipid.  Here's a bit of the song:

We're shining like diamonds/

With love in our hearts/

They said it's the end but I've a feeling/ 

It might just be the start/

As I am awakened with fire in my bones/

Standing beside you I've a feeling that I'll never walk alone

The lyrics seem to be pulled from and emo girl's AP English poetry assignment and not from a seasoned singer/songwriter.  I can't listen to this song without focusing on the lousy lyrics.

Will it do well for the UK.  Yes.  They're going to have a better result than they did for the past few years.  Will it win?  Probably not.

Eurovision 2014: Ireland

If you want to ever watch live television become a train wreck, I highly recommend you watch the Irish selection process--Eurosong 2014.  Eurosong 2014 was part of RTE's Late, Late Show and was broadcast back on February 28th.



Sadly, instead of the focus being on the songs and performances, the focus was more on the "mentors"--the people who selected the songs to be performed and the panelists.

Yes, the professionalism among Ireland's musical promoting community is on show here.   Honestly the behavior of Billy McGuinness, Linda Martin, and Louis Walsh was rather appalling.

And while they weren't squabbling among themselves, the panelists were bemoaning the fact Ireland doesn't win and has to fight in the semifinals.  I would concede that point to the panelists had Ireland sent songs over the past ten years that were actually worthy of being in the finals in Eurovision.  That hasn't happened.  They've been passable at best and mediocre at worst.   This year is no exception.

Out of the five songs performed, only one of them felt like it was Eurovision worthy:

Laura O'Neill  "You Don't Remember Me"

(Sadly, I can't find the actual performance, which she did right after the bickering above.)

It's completely an Adele knockoff, but Adele is huge throughout Europe and O'Neill could have capitalized on that fact.

Instead the Irish public chose this song.

Can-Linn featuring Kasey Smith   "Heartbeat"

This song is so generic that it is forgettable even when they throw everything Irish at it.  I'm surprised they didn't throw in a leprechaun drinking a pint of Guinness while driving snakes off the stage.

And that's Ireland's problem when they have gone to Eurovision as of late.  It's an expectation that the countries are going to respond to mediocre songs sent by RTE just because they're Irish.  It worked 20 years ago, but it's no longer the 1990s and Ireland has to step up their game considerably if they actually want to win the Eurovision Song Contest again.

Hopefully the train wreck that was this year's Eurosong will make Ireland do a rethink of their entire selection process--and bringing better, more commercial songs to Eurovision and bringing them a bit of Ireland's past glory.

Eurovision 2014: Poland

Welcome back Poland!

After a two year absence, Poland has decided to enter Eurovision again.  Happily, they've brought a song that I like quite a bit.

Donatan and Cleo   "My Słowianie"

This rap/folk hybrid is really infectious and entertaining as hell.  I look forward to blasting this from my car radio while driving around town--which gives it bonus points in my book.

Yet for all of my personal cheer-leading, I can see this suffering from the same fate the coolest song from last year's contest.

Who See  "Ingranka"  Montenegro 2013

Who See's rapping was on point and the stage show was fantastic, but it was just a little too "out there" for many of the viewers and went nowhere--coming in twelfth in the semifinal.

I predict that the same thing will happen with "My Słowianie".  It doesn't deserve that fate, but it's just the nature of Eurovision.  It's supposedly looking for something modern but tends to go for safe and recognizable.

Here's hoping that coolness will prevail and Poland makes the finals.