Countries in Review: Belgium (part 2)

The Belgian city of Antwerp is famous for their diamond cutting, and Belgian
diamond cutters like Gaby Tolkowsky (pictured) are world famous for their ability.

Belgium is an interesting country because it is divided neatly in two into two regions---Wallonia, a French speaking region, and Flanders, a Dutch speaking one.   Because of this, there are two national broadcasters and they swap the chore of organizing and selecting a song and singer between them each year.

Because of this language divide, Belgium has done something that no other country has done in Eurovision--sent songs in invented languages.  The most successful of these songs is this number, from 2003



Urban Trad   "Sanomi"  2003

It was successful, coming in second in 2003.  It's not my type of song, but for sheer chutzpah it ranked highly on my list.

Belgium has also sent some rather avant garde choices to Eurovision, the most famous of which is this group

 



Telex "Euro-Vision" 1980

As for influential Eurovision contestants, Telex is probably second to ABBA for global influence.  Their influence as one of the fathers of modern electronica and dance music has been wide reaching, and their acceptance of representing Belgium at Eurovision is pretty surprising.  However, in my ranking they ranked so low because the song was built to provoke instead of actually win, which for me is unforgivable.

The rest of the songs in this group make it into this section with one real connecting factor, they put a smile on my face when I hear them.  Take a listen to these and tell me you don't want to smile.

Lily Castel & Jacques Raymond "Goeiemorgen, morgen" 1971







Clouseau "Geef het op" 1991

My top five Belgian songs to follow soon.





6.   Tom Dice   "Me and My Guitar"   2010  Quality song.
7.   Lily Castel & Jacques Raymond   "Goeiemorgen, morgen"   1971
8.   Vanessa Chinitor   "Like The Wind"   1999   Enya anybody?
9.   Ann Christy   "Gelukkig zijn"   1975
10.   Clouseau   "Geef het op"   1991
11.   Micha Marah   "Hey Nana"   1979   This came in last in 79, and I don't know why.
12.   Urban Trad   "Sanomi"   2003
13.   Telex  "Euro-Vision"   1980
14.   Lisa del Bo   "Liefde is een kaartspel"   1996   Let's face it, I'm a sucker for a bouncy melody.
15.   The KMG's   "Love Power"   2007    I'm distracted by the lead singer's tan.
16.   Liliane Saint-Pierre   "Soldiers of Love"   1987   Cheesy, but in a great way.
17.   Robert Cogoi   "Près de ma rivière"   1964   The best of the early Belgian entries.
18    Jean Vallée   "L'amour ça fait chanter la vie"   1978   A really solid song.
19.   Bobbejaan Schoepen   "Straatdeuntje"   1957   Schoepen is a Eurovisionary.  Watch for a post on him.
20.   Nicole & Hugo   "Baby, Baby"   I don't need to post this one.  If you love Eurovision, you know this cheesy number by heart.

Countries in Review: Belgium (part 1)

The Atomium, the main pavilion of the 1958 World's Fair,
is perhaps the most famous building in Belgium.

Typically, I'm extraordinarily enthused about reviewing a country's entries in the Eurovision Song Contest.   But when I got to Belgium, I got stuck.    I don't know if it was the sheer number of songs or the quality of songs, but I finally finished this list almost four months after I began. 

Belgium has participated since the beginning--1956--and have only missed the contest when they were relegated for lack of success, so there are 55 songs to go through.

So like my previous posts on Austria, I'm splitting my analysis up into three different posts, starting with the the songs that ranked lowest on my list.

I would love to be able to write a lot on these songs, but for the most part they are nothing but pleasant, as the two songs below demonstrate:

 

Mélanie Cohl "Dis oui" 1998

 

Serge & Christine Ghisoland "À la foile ou pas du tout" 1972

 

 

They're nice but perfectly unmemorable.

 

And that the issue with many of the Belgian entries--pleasant music doesn't get you to the top of the heap come voting time.



 

However, I must admit that Belgium did provide two songs that are currently at the top of my list for different reasons.

 

The first is they entry from 1981:

 

 



 

Emily Starr "Samson" 1981

 

Risque isn't necessarily a bad thing come Eurovision time, but when risque tips over into vulgar, I have to draw the line, and Ms. Starr crossed that line with "Samson".  Her vocal performance is perfection, but the staging and costuming is pretty horrible.  The Belgian delegation wanted to go for sexy, with Ms. Starr in a high, double slit dress with dancers behind her.  It was meant to complement, the song, but it doesn't work.  Starr's desire to show off both of her shapely legs make her look like she's bearing down to give birth and combined with the Josephine Baker/Sally Rand shimmying fan dancers behind her--well, it makes it into something very special.  And really vulgar.

 

But Starr's performance was the saving grace for the song as a whole, and it was ranked well above last place. 

 

That dubious honor went to this song:

 

 

 

Claude Lombard "Quand tu reviendras" 1968

The mopey, somewhat out-of-tune music, Lombard's voice, and the glacially slow tempo make me want to pull my hair out.  I can typically excuse all of these facts if there's any sort of levity, but Lombard makes this song seem as serious as nuclear disarmament talks.  It's horrible, horrible, horrible, and without a question the worst song Belgium has sent to the contest.

And for those who are interested, here's my ranking from 21 to 55.

21.   Ingenborg  "Door de wind"  1989   Isn't Ingeborg adorable?  Isn't the song weak?
22.   Mélanie Cohl   "Dis oui"   1998
23.   Reynaert   "Laissex briller le soleil"   1988   A nice song, but it is very much of the late 80s.
24.   Pierre Raspat   "Judy et cie"   1976   One more Judy and he'd be Cary Grant.
25.   Louis Neefs   "Ik heb zorgen"   1967   Seems like a song out of a musical never written.
26.   Sergio and the Ladies   "Sister"  2002   I wanted to rank this higher, but the vocals were weak.
27.   Fud Leclerc   "Ma petite chatte"  1958   My personal favorite of Fud's four entries
28.   Barbara Dex   "Iemand als jij"   1993   Her clothes were much more memorable than her song.
29.   Jacques Hustin   "Fleur de liberté"   1974   Poor guy had the flu, so that's why the lack of energy.
30.   Lize Marke   "Als het weer lente is"  1965   Another good singer let down by a dog of a song.
31.   Jacques Raymond   "Waarom?"   1963   Why indeed?
32.   Phillippe Lafontaine   "Macédomienne"   1990   Another good singer, but the song is very dated.
33.   Stella   "Si tu aimes ma musique"   1982   I love you when you sing with your sisters...
34.   Iris   "Would You"   2012   Poor girl.  She was a nervous wreck onstage.
35.   Tonia   "Un peu de poivre, un peu de sel"   1966   The overemoting ruined the song for me.
36.   Jean Vallée   "Viens l'oublier"   1970   Nondescript.
37.   Louis Neefs   "Jennifer Jennings"   1969   Pandering to the English speakers, are we?
38.   Serge & Christine Ghisoland   "À la folie ou pas du tout"   1972
39.   Ishtar   "O Julissi"   2008   Sanomi did it much better.
40.   Bob Benny   "Sepember, gouden roos"   1961   It's perfectly OK.
41.   Emily Starr   "Samson"   1981
42.   Patrick Ouchéne   "Copycat"   2009   Seriously?  An Elvis impersonator?
43.   Frédéric Etherlinck   "La voix est libre"   1995   I can't figure out if he blew out his voice...
44.   Fud Leclerc   "Mon amour pour toi"  1960   Overwrought.
45.   Nuno Resende   "Le grand soir"   2005   EMI, this song isn't work blocking in the US.  Trust me.
46.   Fud Leclerc   "Ton nom"   1952   Fud swings.  I fall asleep.
47.   Nathalie Sorce   "Envie de vivre"   2000   She's got a nice voice, it's just a shame she got off key.
48.   Linda Lepomme   "Laat me nu gaan"   1985   The song is pitched too high for her voice.  Shame.
49.   Jacques Zegers   "Avanti la vie"   1984   You're no Serge Gainsbourg, Jacques Zegers.
50.   Bob Benny   "Hou toch van mij"   1959   Poor guy is singing his heart out for no real reason.
51.   Mony Marc   "Le plus beau jour de ma vie"  1956   Sadly, it's just uninteresting.
52.   Morgane   "Nous, on veut des violons"   1992   An appealing singer with a really lousy song.
53.   Xandee  "1 Life"  2004  If only she had stayed in tune...
54.   Fud Leclerc   "Messieurs les noyes de la Seine"   1956   This is sleep inducing.
55.   Claude Lombard   "Quand tu reviendras"   1968

Eurovision 2013: Belgium

I have to admit in the economic climate in Europe right now, the way the Belgians have chosen their entrant is very cost effective.

Radio Télévision Belge Francophone, the French language broadcaster in Belgium, internally selected Roberto Bellarosa, the winner of the Walloon version of The Voice, a singing competition that has spread across the world.

RTBF selected three songs to be presented to the public on a radio program, and a combined jury and phone vote selected the song that Bellarosa would sing in Sweden.

The Winner

 

 

Roberto Bellarosa   "Love Kills"

 

 

I think it's a perfectly innocuous song  I can't understand the English lyrics--his accent is somewhat incomprehensible.  But I may have been hypnotized by the eyebrows or the the leather pants, both of which are pretty incredible.

 

As it stands right now, I don't think it has a chance of making it out of the semifinal it's placed in, but we have six months and I expect changes will be made.

 

 

Should Have Won

 

 

 

Roberto Bellarosa  "Love Kills"

 

It's not because I think it's a great song, which truthfully I don't.  The other two songs presented were worse, and out of the three I would have chosen it myself.

 

 

My Favorite

 

Truth be told, I don't really care for any of them so I can't say that any of them are my favorite.  So I'm posting up a Belgian Eurovision entry I really do like.

 

 



 

 Dream Express  "A Million In One, Two, Three"  1977



 



Eurovision 2013: Switzerland

The songs keep coming thick and fast this Eurovision season, and Switzerland is the next country in the Eurovision pipeline. 

The country has one of the more complicated selection processes, with the media organizations representing the French, German, and Italian regions of Switzerland selecting songs to go to the national final--four from the German region, three from the French region, and two from the Italian region.

I have to say that I was highly disappointed by watching the show, unlike the Belorussian national final, the quality of songs seemed to be sub par.

A case in point:

 

 

Ally "Catch Me"

 

This was really one of the two best songs sent into the Swiss Italian radio and television broadcaster in Switzerland?  Seriously?

 

Unfortunately for Ally, the Swiss voting public agreed with me, and "Catch Me" got less than one percent of the public vote and she came in dead last.

 

On the other end of the voting table--

 

 

The Winner

 



 

Heilsarmee  "You and Me"

 

I can understand why this band of ragtag musicians pulled together from Salvation Army bands in Switzerland did well. 

 

My opinion on this can be summed up by three divas of British television in the 1990s:

 

 

Lily Savage, Cilla Black, and Barbara Windsor  "You Gotta Have a Gimmick"



 

And trust me, the Salvation Army in Switzerland got themselves a gimmick.  Pretty much put together a diverse group of musicians--the people in the group range from 20 to 94--and put together with a passable Christian rock song it pushed them over the other eight songs.

 

Yet after the watching the Heilsarmee clip over and over again, I find there's something missing, and that's chemistry.  Watching the two singers together, it feels like they're singing in their own separate worlds.  It might be argued that they're members of the Salvation Army, and any appearance of chemistry might be verboten, but when you're in a duet and singing a song with lyrics like:



 



No there's nothing that can hurt us/
Whatever there may come/
Let it hear from near and far/
This is how it's meant to be/

We're together you and me

 

there had better be some chemistry, even if the song is about your relationship with God.

 

But the group has six months to bond, so there's a chance that the chemistry will have time to form.

 

 

Should Have Won

 

In my opinion, the Swiss should have voted for this song.

 

 

 

Chiara Dubey  "Bella sera"

 

Young women singing by themselves have a good track record in the contest, and Ms. Dubey's almost pitch perfect performance wowed me. 

 

Biggest problem, the song was in Italian.  The sheer fact that the song was not in either in English or the majority language of the country--German cost the song votes.  She came in fifth.

 

 My Favorite

 

After watching the songs, I have to say my personal favorite song is one that did rather poorly:

 

 

 

Nill Klemm  "On My Way"

 

 

It's a basic lite rock number a la Bryan Adams, but the aerobicizing dancers who look like they fell off the Rock of Love Bus is kind of hilariously endearing.  It had no chance, really, coming in eighth, but for the fact it makes me smile, it deserves a shout out.





 

 





Eurovision 2013: Belarus

Well, it's the beginning of the Eurovision season, and first out of the gate is Belarus.

And the first thing I want to say is never change.  Although the winner of the contest wasn't a particular surprise, the ten songs in the final were unique and different--showing the musical tastes of Belarus as a whole, and I liked that very much.

Oh, and thanks for bringing them back to play their Eurovision hit.

 

Aleksandra and Konstantin  "My Galileo"  2004 (from the Belarusian final)

Any reason to hear this song is a good reason in my way of thinking....

But back to the important stuff:

The Winner



 

Alyona Lanskaya  "Rhythm of Love"

 

 

An unsurprising win, since she had won the previous year (and lost per a presidential investigation).  So her return with a dance number pretty much allowed her to walk away with the win--she picked up the maximum points with the both the jury and the phone vote.

 

 

Should Have Won

 

 

 

Alyona Lanskaya  "Rhythm of Love"

 

 

Belarus hasn't had a lot of success in the Eurovision Song Contest, making the final only twice in the nine years they've competed, and "Rhythm of Love" was the most likely of the ten songs to make it to the final in 2013. and they've got plenty of time to jigger with the song to make it work in Malmö.

 

At least lose the lying on the floor and the half naked men.  Neither equal success in Eurovision.  Look here and here for examples.

 

 

My Favorite

 

Please, go listen to all ten songs.  It's worth the thirty minutes of time.  You can see the Belarusian Henry Rollins, enjoy the song stylings of a group that may unironically be called The Beaver Band, and this:

 





 

 

Nuteki Band  "Save Me"

 

Is it hard rock Coldplay?  Is it performance art metal?  I don't know, but it's sure worth a watch.

 

But my favorite is the one that was completely unexpected--Belarus has a lot of ethnically flavored music, and love their heavy metal music as well, so this was an unexpected delight.

 

 



 

 

Daria  "Catch Me Again"

 

Yep, it's the lost number from Cabaret.  Naturally, it wasn't going to win--in fact it came in dead last in the public vote, but wow is she good... 

 

And I want to say something to the ladies of Viva Voom Brr-lesque, please use this song, I will come and throw dollar bills...  

 

 





Alaska's Choice 1964: Copenhagen

Back again with the next entry for the Alaska's Choice, this time for 1964.

First the basic facts--Denmark, the winner of the prior year's contest hosted and the show was presented from Copenhagen's Tivoli Koncertsal on March 21st, 1964.   Unfortunately, due to a fire at the Dutch broadcaster, no recording of the full contest exists to view, so like the 1956 contest, we had to use recordings.  Luckily this year an audio recording still survives--so our votes were taken from that recording.

For the first time in a number of years, there were a change in the countries that participated.  Sweden withdrew from the contest due to a boycott from their singers, while Portugal entered for the first time.  With Spain and Portugal in the contest, Eurovision became politicized and a protester stormed the stage after the Swiss entrant, holding a sign protesting the autocratic governments of the two countries on the Iberian Peninsula.

Unfortunately, the political climate may have had an affect on the results of Portugal's first entry:



António Calvário  "Oração"

 



Calvário's song received no points from any of the other juries, and came in dead last in the competition (along with the songs from Germany, Switzerland, and Yugoslavia).

I suppose the "nul points" results for four countries really is unsurprising, because the winner of the contest received a third of all the possible votes, marking Italy's first victory in Eurovision.

 

Gigliola Cinquetti  "Non ho l'età"

 



And, of course, nether of these songs fell in the same place in our voting.   Calvário landed in 10th place, while Cinquetti came in fifth.

To be honest, the voting for this year's Eurovision Song Contest surprised me--I had expected Cinquetti to do as well with our group as it had done with the voters in 1964, but she was beaten by a number of "also rans"/

Finland took fourth with this number about doing nothing on Sunday:



Lasse Mårtenson  "Lasikotellen"

 

 

And the Dutch moved up from tenth to second with Anneke Grönloh's upbeat song about a very forgiving girlfriend:

 



 

Anneke Grönloh "Jij bent mijn leven"

 

But the big shocker is the winner of our poll:

 

 



 

Udo Jürgens  "Warum nur warum"

 

Good old Udo kept coming back in the mid 60s trying again and again to win the contest, but for us, he won the first time out.  Had Europe been as sensible as we were, and voted for what I considered his best song, perhaps we wouldn't have been subjected to two more years of his sleep inducing music..

So there's 1964 in a nutshell and a surprising Austrian win.  Stay tuned for 1965...


Eurovisionaries: Mrs. Einstein

Sometimes the best way for me to classify a song as Eurovisionary is the fact that the song gets stuck in my head and it won't get out. 

Here's my current case in point:

 

"Niemand heeft nog tijd"  1997

 

I listened to this song earlier in the week, and it hasn't left my brain, and I don't expect that it will for a good long while. 

 

 

The group Mrs. Einstein was founded in 1989 and the high point for the group was 1997, when they were selected by the Dutch television service to represent their country at the Eurovision Song Contest with "Niemand heeft nog tigd", a song decrying the fact that modern life is keeping us too busy.  Sadly, the song didn't do well, coming in 22nd in Dublin.

 

After the Eurovision song Contest, Mrs. Einstein continued to perform; however, many of the members in the clip above have left the group, with only two of the members still performing under the name.

 

Unfortunately, there's no really good information about the group out on the Internet, since their official website is currently down for a revamp.  But Mrs. Einstein is still performing, and if you want to see them, the group is currently doing a cabaret show, which looks like it's coming to a Dutch town near you very soon.

 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go off and play the song over and over again.  Maybe that will get it out of my head.